Nested Dolls

Sooo I’ve always found nested dolls fascinating, I mean how do they just fit so perfectly? That’s the same fascination I’ve got with Lego’s, those little thingies can come together very neatly to form some mega structures!

The other reason I’ve always admired those things is because I cannot for the love of (* insert appropriate deity) get myself to be that neat in my physical life. I cannot fold clothes, arrange a desk or just have my things in a neat order. I like thinking of my self as more of a ‘generalist’ as far as neatness goes…….as long as I generally know where stuff is I’m good! And as long as there is a general semblance of order, I’m good – besides having too much order feels sanitized – like you can’t relax and just be free (yaani kujiachilia)

However this generality ends at my my physical surroundings. Once it gets to my emotions, relationships, escapades, flings, one night(sometimes day) stands, friends with benefits – I apply aeronautical precision in ordering and separating things as and when they happen. …..at least i used to

In the past year or so I’ve had many different interactions that have got me questioning my ability to compartmentalize stuff. Lines are getting blurry and my dolls aren’t as neat as they used to be! Hmmm what to do, what to do – I’ve met amazingly ‘interesting’ people in all senses of the word mpaka I’m like – eish this one needs to move from doll size small to medium, then another who also has moved to doll size to medium to large. I actually want an increased role/space for them in my life. Where previously I had mainly NSA make out/sex I’ve found some people that make me go….

“Alar!…. na kumbe this chap isn’t that bad company even when we aren’t making out!”

Mpaka I’ve even crossed the line to actually take interest in other aspects of their lives other than – what colour boxers they are putting on! Yaani even the ones of being willing to spend time knowing very well it will not end in making out. For me, That’s odd, that’s different, in a kind of  “socks in the underwear drawer – and interestingly I’m like hmmmmmm maybe socks can stay in the underwear drawer.